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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Ding Dong, The Author's Dead!

Be careful who you trust. They say it takes a lifetime to build trust and only a second to destroy it. How true that is. I thought I finally found the one person I could trust more than anyone. He was a true friend indeed and was there more for me than my own family. I never would have hurt him in a million years. But I got involved with something I shouldn't have. It was the beginning of the end for me.

All my life I wanted to be a writer. I enjoyed bringing my worlds to life and letting other people travel through my imagination. For twenty-nine years, I brought you tales of lost souls, the dead rising, calls from beyond the grave, alien encounters, serial killers on the loose, fantastic creatures, and much more. But I had one real fantasy my whole adult life. My characters were part of that dream. I wrote from my desires.

Then I met him.

And I asked him to help me research my next novel.

It was going to be my best ever.

I got obsessed. It was my downfall. He used that against me. Trust turned into threats. My precious words were being used against me. If I didn't do as he asked, he would turn me into a common criminal and have me carted off to jail. My pictures were being used against me. If I didn't bend to his will, they would be plastered everywhere to ruin me. My book was being used to hurt me. He was taking my cover files and making sure I no longer pursued my research.

I was so terrified by this point that I felt the only way out was to end my life.

Writing was all I had. Without it,  I am nothing. I have no will left to create any more characters. The fantasy was turned into something ugly and I'm left with fear and revulsion.

Trust and friendship is overrated. I trusted the best friend of all. Turns out, I had no such friend, and now I'm left with nothing.

I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm depressed.

I'm just done.